The Break-Up

I must admit…I did not see this coming. After years of battling my love/hate relationship with Mr. Blackberry (and yes-I know some of my colleagues even suspected a domestic violence issue after viewing his cracked frame-but I swear that was between Mr. BB and Mr. Granite Countertop-I was not at fault!), perhaps I should have been more prepared.

After Owen finally banned Mr. BB from sleeping with us, I would sneak downstairs first thing every morning (or yes, at 2:00 am when I was waking up to work anyhow), stomach clenched wondering how many emails had come through since putting him to bed. Each morning I prayed to find him sleeping: no red light flashing because that light most readily indicates TROUBLE overnight. Mr. BB was my date to all girls’ dinners, errands, backyard barbeques…and I didn’t want to be rude and have him feel excluded-so he would always sit right next to me, face up so I could see just when that red light started its twitch. Yes, perhaps Mr. BB and I had some attachment issues (has this been used as an insane defense on Law and Order yet?) but I couldn’t shake the anxiety creep when he wasn’t just a reach or purse grab away.



So today it happened. Out of habit, I am up at the crack of dawn and gallop down the stairs to wake Mr. BB up and no red flashing light. Oh no-is it broken? Opening up the message box, I have not one single email or text since yesterday evening. For a quick minute: relief. OMG-this is amazing-no TROUBLE: no fires to put out, no one that needs my input-everything is in order. And then panic: OMG-no fires to put out? No one needs my input? Everything is order…without me. Wow, a little shaky. I casually turn him over 6x in the next hour and still…no flashing light. Darn, isn’t this exactly what I wanted and seriously-are there tears brimming in the back of my eyes?


“Mommy! Mommy! Me is awake!” I hear through the monitor. Immediately, I feel a bit of relief. Who needs Mr. BB when my new employees have me on immediate speed voice dial. As I make my way to Peanut’s room, I hear my other little guy in his room rustling. I smile and open the door-I just love getting them out of bed when they are still sleepy and just waking up. He sees me and I gasp as he squeals in delight, hanging from his mobile (damn, didn’t BabyCenter just send me an email noting to take that thing down?) while everything from the bed (including pj’s and diaper) have been thrown out on the floor.


“MOMMY! Me now! Me want Cheerios!” screams Peanut from across the hall. Okay, deep breath: still have fires to put out, input is readily needed and it certainly does not appear that anything is in order here: red light be damned -I am back in business.